I cry out, my voice saturating the stagnant air surrounding me. It slices through the silence to pierce any ear that hears so acutely as to incite the same agony I experience. I wail in excruciating anguish over repeated mistakes, fully embodying Einstein’s definition of insanity. I scream. I shout. I yell. I roar. I speak. I whisper. My voice fades into reality—I only vocalize my suffering within my own mind. Trapped—I cannot compose words to transform these groanings into communication. I hide within the safety of my mind, peering out to see and hear the shattering of hopes, promises, boundaries.
How can I, a lowly child, aspire to raise into the open the nakedness of the issues causing miseries amongst the people I grew up with? Will they listen or merely withdraw and continue in the blame game causing me to crave the Light to expose our Darknesses? I ponder methods to address our flaws, but an old familiar friend knocks around in my stomach—Anxiety. He whispers fears into being, causing me to hesitate in my convictions. But no more! I cut him off with Truths that ring within my mind and roll quietly off my tongue. Despite eliminating a foe, I am left unsure how to approach the reconciliation that must accompany my forgiveness to truly heal these broken and flawed beings.
I peer over the edge of my comfort zone, lacking sight to see what lies past a few feet below the edge. I am not called to a spirit of timidity or fear, but am granted a spirit of Power, of Love, and of a Sound Mind. No more will I hesitate in the Enemy’s snares placed strategically to dissuade me from following the One I so dearly love. I inhale abruptly, taking in what air I can manage to—I am falling into Courage.
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.” ~John 14:27