Despite my best attempts to evade the permeating effect of drama, it bleeds into my life continually. I swore off creating drama, but nevertheless it smothers me. Events rain down upon me in every season. Perhaps it is not truly drama, but instead simply tragedy. Eviction comes, causing us to put down a dog. My high school best friend attempts suicide and is hospitalized. Tensions with a coworker rule my summer. Self-harm. Suicidal ideation. Roommate leaves school for emotional health. Medication. Self-harm continues. Self-harm stops. Roommate raped. Old roommate hospitalized for cutting deeply. Loss of friend due to romantic relationship in the way of our friendship. Friend attempts suicide for second time in life. People wonder aloud when I will get a break. When does anyone receive an extended break? The most I have experienced is a couple months at most. Perhaps I am a magnet for such drastic events. I no longer wonder, “why me?” knowing full well that I am not the only one suffering such occurrences. I will continually ask, “to what end?” until I find an answer, whether in this life or after. My comfort rests in knowing that someday I will have answers.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” ~ Philippians 4:6