Overwhelmed

Though I have stopped at the crossroads, my thoughts endlessly swirl in my brain. I kneel before You, calm for an evening, but the night returns to infiltrate again. I lay prostrate, overrun by words, emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Suddenly I am awake, dreams inciting mental rebellion from last evening. I become confused, wondering what happened to the peace. Hopes emerge, offering pleasant escape from the day and the crawling classes; however, reality pokes small holes in those hopes with its barbs.

Time is both a friend and an enemy. It offers itself so I may use it to regain who I am and focus again on the One I see no matter the circumstances. Simultaneously, it rushes on ever faster, bringing the anticipated moment the hopes lead me towards. I thank reality for its barbs poking me to remind me of itself.

In all of this chaos, I neglect the most important perspective and opinion on the matter—Yours. I kneel at the crossroads again, vacillating between options. Stop—I force my brain into submission, offering up my thoughts—captive—to You. “Take them,” I whisper. I long for Your good and perfect will to be executed in my life. Take over my mind, my hopes, my will, and shape them to Yours. I am Your servant, let it be to me as You have planned.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

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