Unfounded

I have experienced what I call “the feeling” for several years now. Unannounced, I will randomly get the feeling that something will happen, and then it does. It is infrequent, scattered through varying circumstances and years. There appears to be no evidence that it will be accurate, yet it is anyways. The past couple years it has evaded me more than previously. I am at a loss as to why I am experiencing it less frequently. Maybe it has faded as a result of my pursuing logic over emotion. Perhaps I subconsciously suppress it in favor of growing up.

Now I find myself possibly experiencing it again. I am unsure if what I am experiencing is truly “the feeling” or if I have willed it into being. I have depended on the belief that I will simply “know” when I meet the man You have been preparing me for. Now I am unsure. I have met a man I have quickly fallen for, unbeknownst to him. I hardly know him, yet I have a deep respect for him and a desire t know him intimately. Everything is different than previous experiences—I want to get to know him slowly instead of immediately delving into deep life issues, I like him for who he is instead of his potential self, I accept that time is beneficial instead of impatiently anticipating possible outcomes, I would rather let him pursue me instead of chasing after him, I accept that if this is not Your plan for me that there will be another. Everything is different, but does that mean I have stumbled across Your plan, or have I merely become distracted by another path? I will know when I am meant to know. Maybe I am experiencing “the feeling,” but maybe I am not. And that does not matter.

“But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are His.” ~ Job 12:13

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