Burden

I have never found it easy to accept help. I am eager to help others, contributing wherever I can to serve and show Your love. It is not a hassle for me to aid others, but when it comes to me… I have difficulty accepting it in any form. Growing up I felt like a … Continue reading Burden

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Aware

Sitting in my car as I drive home from a fun night with friends, I feel my mood shift--I am numb. Waves of sadness without reason wash over me, drowning me in apathy. Exhaustion stifles me, choking me out. Overwhelmed by my emotions as I struggle to not become stuck in my head, an awareness … Continue reading Aware

Settling

A discussion recently addressed being like a child to enter Your kingdom, and it generated a list of qualities describing a humble child. The word that entered my mind as most applicable--hope. Humble children are hopeful. In observing young children compared to teenagers, I am struck with a transition indicating growing up--settling. As life washes … Continue reading Settling

Guarded

I jump into and out of trust—fluctuating between being open and guarded. Despite my freedom and sainthood, I am still human. Words and actions still affect me—influencing my mood. I still deal with the consequences of careless or intentional hurts dealt to me. I must be exceptionally careful to not allow my natural tendency to … Continue reading Guarded

Gray

  Snow thinly coats the trees, dulling their deep green to gray. Clouds obscure the sky, fading the serene blue to gray. Subdued nature colors the snow, muting the brilliant white to gray. The dimmed environment creates two effects: paling of all, or high contrast. The environment feeds into my pre-existing emotions--extremes plague my mind … Continue reading Gray